Monthly Archives: November 2005

Tuesday

Greetings and salivations, fellow internet surfers. Hope your day is going well.

I actually woke up at 6:30 this morning…I couldn’t believe I woke up so early! Did some stuff on the computer, and then got out of the house for a bit today; went to the mall to do some shopping with Pat. Things went OK until about 1:00, when I had to start sitting down because I was so tired. I went by Orange Julius to get a smoothie instead of the normal coffee and sugar I would use to try to keep myself awake. Great stuff, but it felt weird to plunk down almost $5 for a drink. Pat had a buy one-get one free coupon, so that abated my guilt somewhat, knowing I was getting two of them (yes, I shared). While extremely delicious and healthy, it didn’t do much to keep me awake. By the time I got home a little before 2:00, I was totally wiped, and just laid down. Took a nap, got up around 4:30, fixed dinner for once, chicken and veggies with roasted garlic chicken seasoning, chili powder, and kosher flake salt. Simple, but very good. Kevin even agreed with me, and cleaned up the rest of it. Seems like I never lose my touch with cooking…even though it seems like I only do it once in a blue moon.

Overall, same persistent health issues including my wonderful, hacking cough, but not a bad day. I’m trying to be content with what my body is allowing (or not allowing) me to do. Folks, as I’m sure you know, that is definitely easier said than done. I am having coffee with a friend tomorrow at 8am, so I guess bedtime for this Bonzo is going to be happening real soon. Take care, kids, and just remember to keep your stick on the ice. 😉

Category: Site News

Monday

Hi kids. Uncle Scotty again, with exciting tales of what it’s like to stay home all the time…

Couldn’t go to sleep again last night, and for some reason still woke up at 8. A lot of good it did me; was up for a few minutes, and then right back to bed, where I spent most of the day. However, I was able to get up this evening to run some errands, including getting my haircut, and getting my cell phone serviced. Which was another blessing from God; I was previously told that my phone needed a new battery, and that I would have to pay for 80% of the cost for it. However, tonight, when I went in and got my phone reprogrammed, the guy just said “I have one of those in the back, I’ll just throw it in.” Thank you God, another $30 saved.

Then I decided to go to the bookstore and check out The Maker’s Diet because so many people at church have recommended it to me. It was there that I met Kathy and Evelyn. When they saw the book that I was reading, they started talking to me, asking me if I was saved. I told them that I was…and we had a great conversation, and then Evelyn prayed for me as they were leaving. I just feel like He keeps reaching out to me to show me how much he loves me…I wish I could describe it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, leave a comment, and I will follow up with you. Anyway, I didn’t pick up the books (there’s also a shopper’s guide that looks invaluable)…but I did come home and go on Amazon, so I get both books for the price of one, including shipping. Don’t you love the internet?

I don’t feel too awful bad right now, except for my now chronic cough. Pat and I are going to do some shopping tomorrow, so I’ll get out of the house for a bit. I also go to the doc’s on Thursday, we’ll see if anything else comes up. God Bless…it’s bedtime for this Bonzo.

Category: Site News

Sunday

Wow. What a day.

I woke up this morning, way too late to make the Singles Bible group I belong to at my church. I almost didn’t go to 10:00 am service, either…but I felt that I just had to be there. Yes, probably His prompting.

I forgot about a Cornerstone tradition. The Sunday after Thanksgiving there’s no sermon, per se. They place a microphone either side of the stage/altar/whatever you call it, and people just come up and announce what they’re thankful for. Now most churches you go to, it’s a bunch of people that come up and announce that they’re thankful for their spouse, kids, house, this church, etc., nothing too dramatic. However, folks, if you’ve ever been to Cornerstone, you know that things are just a bit different. There were some of the usual people that were thankful with a smile. But most of the people were like me…about 1 millimeter away from tears, going through a tough time, but God was still being gracious in their lives, either through people or just out of His blessing (in His time, of course.) I was just sitting in my seat, still in pity party mode from last night, listening how He is faithful to all of us, in good times and bad. Of course, I also thought about all the people who have been His hand of blessing to me, and I found myself even more emotional — if that was possible.

I felt really, really blessed to be part of this congregation. I’m sure there are some Sunday Christians in this congregation; you know, the type that show up on Sunday all holier-than-thou, only to have the real person show up for Monday thru Saturday. But that would be the exception, not the norm here. It isn’t true in the friends that I have made in this church, and it sure doesn’t seem to be encouraged by the pastoral staff. The ‘family’ I have here at this church are the same no matter what day of the week it is, or where I see them. And coming out of service today, I felt blessed, honored, chosen by God, sad, frustrated, tired, and about everything else. What a service. But it didn’t even come close to preparing me for what was about to happen.

After the service, I step outside to talk to some of those wonderful friends. I don’t know how to describe what happened next, but I’ll try. As I was talking to a couple of people, one of the guys from my singles class comes up, gives me a hug, and stuffs something in my pocket. Don’t worry, kids, it’s a front pouch on a sweatshirt…we’re not THAT friendly. I ask what it was, and it turned out that my class and the one next to it took up a collection to get me a little something. I asked why, and didn’t get much of an answer other than they love me, and they felt that they would like to do something for me. At this point, I totally lose it, and just start crying. I hope that everyone reading this would be able to feel this blessed some time in their lives…just knowing that there are people that love you this much.

I went out to lunch with friends after church, then came home and took a nap. OK, a couple of naps, in between phone calls and stuff on the computer.

Now for the medical update. Not much has changed. Still in bed a lot, although not always sleeping, I’m just too tired to do anything else but lay in bed. Cough is still here, fever comes and goes, and I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. In other words, nuttin but the status quo here. Tomorrow, if I’m up for it, I’m going to go to one or two doctors’ offices and request my records so I can bring them along to other doctors if needed. I will more than likely see my fourth doctor in the next week or two, and possibly a fifth, if I decide to try to see an endocrinologist. Oh, and my appetite is going down the drain fast. Until 8 tonight, all I had was a roll, a bowl of soup, and a side salad. I just don’t feel like eating; my stomach seems to always be full. Yes, I’ll tell the docs about that this week.

I can’t thank my brothers and sisters at church enough, especially the ones that contributed to my gift. I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without you. May God richly bless you and yours.

Category: Site News

Saturday

Hi everyone. Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, so I’ll try to update you on what has been happening.

First of all, I’ll be redundant and say that Thanksgiving day was wonderful. Great food, great friends and family…what more could anyone want. The next day started out good, too. Was still over at Jeff’s since I spent the night there. Doc got in pretty early, and we ended up having a couple of Starcraft battles. Because everyone else has been playing for so long, I feel like the weakest link in the chain, but everyone else was gracious enough to help me out (thanks again for the mutalisks, Doc!) so it was still a great time.

However, after a few games of Starcraft (and some action at the pool table), I started to get extremely tired. I packed everything up and went home. Got home around 5 or so, unloaded the truck, and went right to bed. Also, after a hunch, took my temp, which was 100 even. Grrreat. But unfortunately, I’m getting used to running a low-grade fever, being congested, and coughing up my lungs on a daily basis. Went to sleep pretty quickly.

The next day (today) I woke up around 8 or so, still utterly exhausted. Around 10, I looked around at my room. I won’t tell you how messy it was, but even I was disgusted; so that should give you a pretty good idea. Kicked myself in the butt, cleaned half of my small room, and did some laundry. With the exception of that activity, and picking up Pat at the airport, I’ve been in bed pretty much the whole day.

I guess I knew that this would be coming. Jeff and I had a conversation last night where he noted that I was doing well in participating in everything. I said that I had, but I knew that I was going to pay for it. And sure enough, today I’m making big payments. I’m also ashamed to say that I started a pity party tonight, and it didn’t let up when Jodi called me. Right now I am just absolutely pissed off. I mean, really, what did I do over the past few days? I stayed up late a couple of nights, still got 8 hours sleep a night. I didn’t do any physical activity, I didn’t work, all I did was eat, drive, and play some video games. And I feel like it’s going to take me the better part of a week to recoup. I’m 38 years old, not 98. I guess the frustration is really hitting a boiling point right now, and as much as I have my faith in God, I am really starting to lose it right now.

I have been extremely blessed with an amazing bunch of family and friends that are constantly offering prayer and physical support (meals, cleaning, etc.) All of them have been absolutely fantastic at calling and emailing, asking what they can do for me. The frustrating part is that I feel absolutely useless as a member of the human race right now, and all the love and support I get from everyone is not making me feel better right now. Not because of their shortcomings, but because I feel like I’m dying and all the doctors I’ve been to so far can’t seem to figure anything out. I’ve gotten another suggestion for a specialist I might check into (endocrinologist), and I’m going to research that starting Monday.

Once again, I am extremely grateful for all the offers of support, whether prayer or otherwise. I will get through the pity party eventually. Hopefully tomorrow. Hopefully I can get up and go to church tomorrow. But I wouldn’t bet a lot of money on it. Good night, and God Bless.

PS: If you know Starcraft, please celebrate with me that I finally finished all 30 core Starcraft missions. It only took about 8 times to win the last mission. I did it almost entirely with the Terrans; I used nukes to weaken the top left part of the base while I built Battlecruisers en masse. The final assult happened almost on accident; my Battlecruisers wandered a little too far into the main Zerg base by the Overmind. I then turned all of my Yamato guns on the Overmind, having already wiped out most of the Spore Colonies and Scourge with nukes. That got the Overmind from 5000 to 1800 hit points. From there, with a dozen Battlecruisers still alive, the remaining task took an amazingly short time. I have already started the Brood War missions.

Category: Site News

Thanksgiving Day.

What a day this was. First stop was Jeff and Marney’s. Brought the computer over because we were wanting to have a bunch of people play Starcraft. Which revealed the first challenge of the day, because when I set up the PC it wouldn’t boot. After playing with it awhile, found that the voltage settings were abnormal, meaning that the power supply was probably going. Fortunately, I had a replacement over at my house, so I went home, picked up the power supply, came back and installed it. Thank God it works!

After having dinner (which was absolutely one of the best Thanksgiving dinners of all time), I went over to Dick and Gwen’s. Gwen is a fantastic cook, and Kevin cooked the turkey in his fryer. If you’ve never had it, you are missing out on one of the true Thanksgiving treats. But, being stuffed meant that I would have none of the above just yet, but instead settled for some mighty amazing banana cream pie. I feel blessed to be able to visit my ex’s relatives, and have them welcome me into their home like I have always been part of their family.

After coming back to Jeff’s, I found that everyone was singing karaoke. Everyone thought I was shy at first; that illusion quickly disappeared after I sung two songs in a row. I love singing; I really miss the choir that I was a part of at Cornerstone, so this to me was incredible. Then the remaining people settled in for a game of Taboo, which was also a lot of fun. I think I did well for never having played before.

After a while, the day started to catch up to me, and I got extremely tired. After laying down for a while, and finding I couldn’t sleep, and talking to Jodi for a bit, I got back up and just hung out for a while. I have been tired for the entire day, but I wouldn’t trade a moment of today for sleep. However, I keep having the thought in the back of my head that this is going to catch up with me at some point. I’ve been congested and coughing for the entire day, so I guess physically this hasn’t been the best of days, but I am grateful nonetheless.

Emotionally this has been a weird day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m now off of my anti-depressant, but even though I’m extremely happy and thankful, I have spent some of the day extremely sad as well. I’ve prayed to make sense of what’s happening to me, but I guess I’m going to have to learn patience again and wait on Him to either move or reveal His will to me for what’s going on. But all in all, great day emotionally, another physically crappy day.

If you’re reading this, I’m thankful to you as well. God Bless You!

Category: Site News

The day before Thanksgiving

Howdy folks. Uncle Scotty here…with the latest in the (only slightly) depressing saga of “Doctors, Insurance, and Sanity”.

Heard from my ID doctor today. Insurance has denied the CT scan, saying that they want a blood marrow biopsy before agreeing to ‘advance imagery’ like a CT scan. Swell…I always wanted someone to take a really long needle and drive it deep into my hip bone. Since I wasn’t really happy with the last hemoc doctor, I’m going to schedule an appointment with one next week to do the procedure. I’m also going to go to my family doctor and request my records so I don’t have to worry about how little they are going to fax over to the specialist.

They also said that my blood results came back, and they said that with the exception of the (still) high white blood cell count, the only thing that came back was a dormant Epstein-Barr virus, which means that I’ve had mono at least once in my life. Sorry, not news to me. He said that I would come see him only after I’ve had the bone marrow biopsy done. Grrreat. But the good news was that they didn’t say anything about an iron deficiency, which would mean that I’m no longer anemic. I believe that part of it is a hunch that I have that my body is producing iron, just not as fast as it should, due to my illness. The other part that has to be given credit are the Reliv vitamin shakes that I’ve been doing every day for the past week or so. Thanks to Pat for getting them for me, and thanks to Jennifer O. for being the distributor, talking and praying with me the other day on the phone.

But the good news today is that after 2:30 this afternoon, I actually had the strength to do dishes and clean ever so slightly around the house. I’m also finding that herbal teas (including the peach and apricot tea I’m sipping on now…nummy!) are becoming my friend as I try to wean myself off of caffeine and sodas in general.

I have the blessing of being over at Jeff and Marney’s right now. I’m a little tired…still a little feverish…but enjoying the company of fine friends. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone…and may you all be blessed with friends such as mine. God Bless!

Category: Site News

Tuesday

As you noticed, I’ve reformatted a bit. Hope you like it. Anyhoo, weird day for me. Last night I came to the realization that because I’m always congested or coughing, I have been doing NyQuil for almost a month solid. Yes, I know, not the smartest thing to do, but I’m just trying to make sure I can breathe, and not choke in my mask (CPAP) during the night. So last night was my first night without the NyQuil, and it took me until 2:30 to go to sleep.

When I woke up at 10:00, initially I felt great. Was actually thinking of some stuff around the house that I could get accomplished today. However, about 11:30 or so, I got to the point where I was about to pass out. This was not the normal ‘gee, I’m exhausted’ but I was almost shaking I was to tired and jittery (before the caffeine). It also was not a good thing considering that I had to take someone to the airport this afternoon. After getting 3 cups of coffee and a diet pepsi, I started to feel like I could remain conscious for a few hours. After taking my friend to the airport, I came home and played around for a bit before going back to bed.

Other than that, still running the low-grade fever, still coughing, and still don’t feel like doing anything but laying in bed. What a life. I’m going to try sleeping now…talk to you tomorrow.

Category: Site News

November 21

Hi there…thanks for thinking enough of me to check my blog.

I spent most of the day sleeping…and right now it’s not even 6 and I am thinking of going back to bed. Only progress today was that I called the id doctor’s office. Still no approval from the insurance company for my CT scan. I’m thinking tomorrow I will call all of the doctor’s offices and get copies of my charts, that way I have everything with me whenever I go somewhere. Communication just isn’t how it should be, folks.

I also forgot…I have been running a low-grade fever pretty much all weekend (under 100). Checked it today, and it’s gone for the time being. However, the cough remains. It doesn’t bug me in and of itself, but the fact that I’ve had it steady for almost a month is really starting to get under my skin. I also had a lovely chat with the folks at the short-term disability office. The case manager told me today that she had to consult with a doctor because I was asking for a lot of time off without having a diagnosis. Well, duh! If I had one, they’d cure me, and I’d get back to work, eh? I know, I know…I was nice to her…I really was! But I guess the frustration is just really building up because I sit around and wonder…am I just fat? out of shape? am I not eating right? should I just have a couple more cups of coffee and just suck it up? I mean, I know the answers to all of those questions, I know it’s not just in my head…but it doesn’t mean that the self-doubt doesn’t creep in. Oh well. All normal stuff, I suppose.

Thanks to everyone who has emailed or called me recently with offers of support, even if it’s just prayer or just chatting. It means a lot to me. And, while I’m at it, I’m also going to ask (if you have the time) to send the soldiers in Iraq a quick note to let them know that they are appreciated. You can Google for a site, or to send a note to any soldier in the Army, click here to go to the Army’s site to send a message of support. Remember, folks, freedom ain’t free. God Bless You!

Category: Site News

More…

Well, my Colts ended up winning…I can’t remember the last time all three of my NFL teams won! What a day! Not to mention that the BULLS beat the LAKERS….I know some people I could call for that one… =)

I can’t seem to sleep. Had a long talk with a friend of mine from church that has some experience with disorders that the doctors can’t diagnose, but has ended up getting better using some homeopathic remedies. If the next tests don’t figure anything out, I may try that path for myself. Right now I’m also congested, and that cough of mine is not getting any better. It is definitely concerning me, and that’s why I’m going to get on the insurance company about getting that CAT scan approved. Oh well, one more email to write, and then NyQuil before bed. God Bless!

Category: Site News

Today

Today…has been a halfway decent day, if you don’t regard how tired I am. Missed church because I just couldn’t get out of bed. I guess I could go tonight, but we’ll have to see. Thanks to Pat for taking me out to lunch, and Brenda for calling. I feel really blessed to have family and friends call on me as often as they do.

This week, even though I don’t have any doctors’ appointments, will still be somewhat of a busy week. I’m going to start bugging people, including my insurance company, to see why I don’t have approvals yet for the sleep study or my CAT scans. I just can’t believe that doing routine calls, ones I would have normally made during my lunch break at work, now constitutes a ‘busy’ week. I’m also going to have Thanksgiving dinner at two different places, Jeff and Marney’s, and Dick and Gwen’s. To those that have also invited me (and there’s been several), thank you for thinking of me.

Time to see if my Colts can pull out a victory against the Bengals. I can’t believe both the Bears and Cardinals won…let’s see if I go 3 for 3. God Bless.

Category: Site News