Monthly Archives: December 2006

Update on one soldier

I know there are several soldiers currently serving in Iraq that are blogging as time allows.

However, I’ve become aware of one of them, SPC J.R. Salzman. The reason I’m writing about him is because he was injured by an IED, Improvised Explosive Device. He has lost part of one arm below his elbow, and as of this post, is in Germany receiving medical care for his injuries.

I’ve put his blog, Lumberjack in the Desert, on my blogroll. Please keep him and the other soldiers injured in your prayers.

Category: Site News

Equation

OK, kids. Quick quiz for ya…what do you get when you combine a gallon of bees, a swingset, a couple of rednecks, a trailer hitch, rope, and several gallons of flammable liquid?

You get THIS. (PG-13 for language and violence against insects) Why should you click on the link? Because the pictures and descriptions are hilarious.

My amazement exists because no humans were harmed or killed.

If you’re looking for Thursday Thirteen #14, keep scrolling.

Category: Site News

Thursday Thirteen #14

Thirteen things that are in short supply in this world according to Bubba

  1. Sorry. This word is not used nearly enough. And when it is used, it’s often lacking the true sincerity that it needs. If you doubt what I’m saying, remember back to a time when your feelings were hurt, and you got a response of “geez! sorry!” said sarcastically. I know you can…I believe every human has been at the end of such an apology. If you believe you’ve hurt someone else, even if they have hurt you too…an apology is priceless. Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Believe it.
  2. Turn signals on cars and trucks. Pretty much every vehicle in North America has working signals. I’m pretty sure that it’s the law of the land! However, in certain places, they are not used. Folks, the reason they’re used is to warn the car behind you that you are going to be turning or switching lanes. Slamming on the brakes without warning and then turning is NOT good road etiquette. If you’re reading this and you use them, thank you. If you’re not: the lever for your turn signal is located below the steering wheel. Take the air freshener tree off. Then, if you know you’re going to be making a turn or lane change soon, simply move the lever. Down means you are going to turn left, up means you’re going to turn right. Don’t worry, it becomes easier with practice.
  3. Prayer. This one applies directly to me, and I’m probably the worst offender on this one. If you’re a Christian, refer to Philippians 4:6 and Ephesians 6:18. If you’re not an atheist, I can’t educate you on your exact religion, but I’m pretty sure you should be praying as a part of daily life. While prayer is certainly communication with God, it also serves as a way of resetting our priorities to what is truly important. In order to lend some accountability to myself, I pledge to have daily prayer every day for the next week. Yes, I know, should be longer…but I can do 7 days at a time… =)
  4. Time with loved ones. Hopefully over the holiday season you have spent time with family and friends. It should be more than a once a year affair, though. Tomorrow is promised to no one. And I’m sure we’ve all heard this expression: “No one on their deathbed says ‘I should have spent more time at the office.'” Whether it’s doing something with someone important, talking, or just watching tv…those are the times that you will cherish later on in life. Please spend more time with your loved ones this coming year.
  5. Cameras and video cameras. Once again, I’m guilty. I am really guilty at this one. But I don’t mean that you take 3000 pictures every time you get your camera out. However, take it out more often. Don’t wait for vacation or birthdays. Everyday is a perfect occasion to “make memories”. During Trevor’s funeral, the one thing that really impressed me were the videos they took of Trevor playing in mud, the one of the television covered in peanut butter, and still others of him just being himself. All of the videos were taken before his parents ever even thought that his time on earth would be cut short. Thank God that they didn’t get mad at him when he did silly stuff, but instead took out a videocamera and enjoyed the moment. Keep your cameras handy.
  6. Hugs. Fortunately, hugs are not scarce. However, I still believe more people should be comfortable with this expression of caring. They’re not sexual…even though in some cases they can be. Human touch is very important to pretty much everyone. I hug friends, family, coworkers, people at church, people in parking lots, stores, schools, male and female. Hug ’em all.
  7. Letters to soldiers serving in our military. With the internet, there are several places to do it. Thank the Troops. Forgotten Soldiers Outreach. Any Soldier is a great site to not just email support, but also send care packages or reach out to a specific soldier. And if you’re Canadian, you can go to this site. We don’t do it enough, myself included. If you’re reading this, and you’re a soldier, my undying gratitude goes to you personally. Thank you for your service.
  8. Grace. Don’t like that word? You could also substitute the words forgiveness or mercy. It seems that it’s our nature as humans to condemn first and ask questions later. People hold grudges against other people for far too long. And why? Why do we use our energy to harbor negative feelings against someone for deeds done long ago? Doesn’t hurt them…it only hurts ourselves. If you have someone you’re not forgiving…it’s time to let it go. And it doesn’t mean that you forget about the offense and act like nothing happened. For instance, my ex-wife did a lot of things to me that, if reported to the police, could have put her away for a few years. I have totally forgiven her. I don’t wish her any harm, and I don’t feel it’s necessary for her to experience anything negative because of those events. But I’ll never marry her again.
  9. Availability. Well, what I mean is that I believe we should be available for others…within boundaries that are established ahead of time. For instance…in the middle of doing this week’s 13, I got a phone call from a friend of mine that said that her cable internet wasn’t working. After listening to the steps she had already done, I knew that either her modem wasn’t working, or something else that she, not the cable company, was responsible for. Instead of saying “well, I’m working on something”, I went over and helped fix the problem. I don’t tell this story because I want praise. I probably enjoyed helping her more than she appreciates having her internet back up. But I believe that a lot of us are so tied up with schedules filled weeks in advance that we are unable to help out someone that needs us.
  10. Common sense. I could write about more than thirteen places in today’s world that are severely deficient in common sense. Because of my previous rambling, though, I will limit it to one: driving. There are very few “accidents” that happen on our roadways because it was an “accident”. The majority of the time there was someone going too fast, not paying attention to what’s going on, or otherwise being negligent. Folks, we need to pay attention at all times to not only what’s going on, but what could happen. Are you in a wooded area with no shoulder to the road? Well, 65 mph might be ok until that deer pops out in front of you and totals your car. See someone with reverse lights on their car in a parking lot? You may want to look in the car. If the driver ain’t looking at you, he can’t see you. Stop and let him back out. And for Pete’s sake…get those iPod headphones off! A cell headset is ok, but when you have music blasting into both of your ears, you will never hear a siren or someone screaming to get your attention. In short, folks, think a little more when you’re navigating that 3000 pound metal weapon down the road. ‘Nuff said.
  11. Unconditional love. The word love is bandied about so carelessly that when true love is really shown, it stands out like the sun. And often, the only love that people have on their minds is the romantic stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I really like romantic love too! But how often have we “loved” someone that has nothing we want? How often have we done something for someone we don’t know? As you can guess, I am a real fan of the “Pay It Forward” movie. Some of the examples in the movie, though, are just a bit unrealistic. Instead of donating a Jaguar to someone stranded on a back road, maybe we could buy lunch for someone who doesn’t expect it. Or mow someone’s lawn that you know is sick or otherwise unable to do so. If you think about ways to show others love, more creative examples will come to you.
  12. Honesty. What’s a little white lie? No such thing. And before you think I’m here being self-righteous, I’ve told more than my fair share of lies in this lifetime. Probably more than you. But as I’ve lived, I’ve found that the truth always comes out. Not always right away, but eventually it will rear its head, normally at the least opportune moment. If you really want to spare someone’s feelings, don’t tell a lie. Be tactful, be caring, be loving, but always tell the truth.
  13. Chocolate. No, I haven’t seen any stores run out of it, or news stories exclaiming a shortage anywhere. But there can never be enough chocolate.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Category: Site News

December 28

For those of you expecting a Thursday Thirteen, I will be posting one here later today. But for now, it’s another personal update.

I had a decent Christmas. Christmas Eve was spent at church for the most part…well, the awake and out of bed part of my day. Cornerstone had nine services for Christmas Eve: 8:00, 9:15, 10:30, 11:45, 3:00, 4:15, 5:30, 6:45, and 8:00. I only had to be there for the last five, so I didn’t go to church in the morning. In fact, I didn’t wake up that day until about 1:00pm, and still didn’t feel like getting up at that time. But I did, got some food, dressed and went to church.

We outdid ourselves, like we do every year. There was a petting zoo for the kids with a burro, goats, rabbits, chickens, and some other creatures I can’t remember. There was snow on a really small hill that the kids could use for sledding, which is more than a little strange here in Chandler. Cookies, including ruegelach (sp?) and creampuffs with coffee and tea. And that’s before you get inside.

Once you get inside, we had done Christmas lighting throughout the entire sanctuary, and we had curtained the stage to appear like a Broadway theater. The service then consisted of worship music (of course), an illusionist (magician), a sermon, and then more music. During the last worship set we also provided snowfall from the ceiling, made by 6 artificial snow blowers. Since I was the one to operate them (as the lighting person), it was a lot of fun to turn them on and then watch people’s reactions. Some weren’t pleased, but for the most part people thought it was fun…but especially the children. I’ve always thought that Christmas is a child’s holiday, because the look of joy that a child’s face can show at different times during the season. And the looks on the childrens’ faces as the snow came down was absolutely priceless and heartwarming.

As you can see from the service times, we had to keep the services’ length down to about 1 hour, and it was a LOT to squeeze in during that time. And after five services, we were all spent. So I went home, and pretty much went straight to bed.

The next day, Christmas, I was absolutely exhausted. Once again, didn’t wake up until about 1:00pm or so. And, I really wasn’t in the mood or had the energy to go anywhere. But if I didn’t, I knew I would keep getting phone calls from everyone, so I told them I was coming. I finally made it over there about 3:00, which was perfect timing. Had a great lasagne dinner that Kevin made, along with grilled Italian sausage. After that, spent some time watching sports, talking to Pat and Connie about different things, and just doing a whole lot of nothing. It really was a great time.

However, it didn’t last long, and by 6:00, I was back home, napping on the couch. The past two days have been spent mostly in the same mode, with the exception of yesterday, where I actually forced myself to do laundry because I was pretty much out of clothes. Today, I actually got up at 10:00, much earlier than the last few days. I also made the bed, which is something I do NOT do. I am also going to force myself to go to the bank (I have a check! woohoo!), the pharmacy (I’m almost totally out of drugs, I have 5 prescriptions I have to fill), Costco (I’m outta food), and then back home to collapse. I would also like to go to the gym today, but I’m sure that I will not have the energy after all the running around.

I am still trying to find my original medical records to put them together as part of my appeal for short-term disability. I also need to call work sometime today or tomorrow to tell them that I won’t be coming back on Jan 2. I really am just too exhausted to continue to work full time at this moment. I really hope that I can go back to work soon…but I honestly don’t see it.

Well, that’s about it. Oh, and the other odd thing: since the whole anonymous posting thing (see here and here for details), there hasn’t been one person accessing my site from work. I’m hoping that these sad people have found something else to do with their lives. It could also be that work has blocked access to my site. Either way, good riddance. I don’t need them reading this and spreading rumors about why I’m not working.

Thanks for reading…God bless.

Category: Site News

Sad.

This morning I got up, checked my email…to find this comment left by someone named “anonymous”.

I am shocked at the fact that you think others should donate money to support you!!!All of the doctors seem to think you are fine! You always say on here that you are a large man. Perhaps, diet and lack of exercise play a role in your fatigue. Get off your ass!!! I am a single mother who has to work full-time to support myself and my child. I would never ask for donations to assist me unless there was something very serious!!! And, I am certainly not stupid enough to think that god is going to support me!!! Do you need more money so that you can continue to dine at California Kitchen? Get a grip! With all of the worthy causes out there you think people should give their charity to you? Why what have you done to deserve something like that??? At my job I see SO many people like you who play the system to get out of a little work! I find your donation button very offensive! Shame on you! You should be asking for donations to help Trevors parents with their expenses or other needy families! I am not a religious person but, doesn’t your god teach that he helps those who help themselves?

Wow. First of all, it takes a strong person to mouth off like that anonymously. I would think that if you were a person of any integrity whatsoever, you would at least attach an email address to it. However, since I have some tools, I believe I can narrow this down. First, the IP address came from where I work. There are about 3 people that visit my website with any regularity. The post references that the this person is a single mom…so it’s narrowed down a bit more. The fact that this person isn’t religious means that I pretty much know the exact person that did this. No, I won’t mention her name…but it saddens me to know that this person thinks this little of my character as to post something like this.

So, I guess this person won’t be surfing this site anymore. At least, I hope they won’t. Because, if all you’re going to do is come along and issue anonymous criticism of someone before knowing the whole story, you should probably find something more productive to do with your time. ESPECIALLY AT WORK. But, I am going to post a response to this for several reasons…some selfish, some to inform people who don’t REALLY know me.

I am shocked at the fact that you think others should donate money to support you!!!
I never said that others SHOULD donate money to support me. But, if they WANT to, I’ve provided a place to do so.

All of the doctors seem to think you are fine!
No, they don’t think I’m fine. They just can’t find why I’m exhausted all the time.

You always say on here that you are a large man. Perhaps, diet and lack of exercise play a role in your fatigue. Get off your ass!!!
I have. If you haven’t caught my previous posts, I go to the gym three times a week. However, after each workout, I am so tired that about all I can do is come home and sleep. And we’re not talking 3 hour workouts, either. What I do is probably a really light workout compared to some…however, I am working with gym staff to ensure that I’m working towards fitness goals. My diet isn’t perfect, but I have made a lot of progress to reducing junk and added fresh veggies and fruit, as well as reducing caloric intake. All of that being said, most every doctor I’ve seen (12 of them) say that there’s something else going on beside my weight and dietary choices. Most of them agree that there is something else wrong…they just don’t know what.

I am a single mother who has to work full-time to support myself and my child. I would never ask for donations to assist me unless there was something very serious!!!
Bravo. Glad you’re able to do so. I don’t have kids, so my job is admittedly much easier than yours. However, I am not working right this moment because I am not able to. I’ve worked since I was 12. I know what lazy is, I know what it’s like to pull my butt out of bed when I don’t feel like it, I know what it’s like to work sick, hurt, tired, depressed, hungover, and everything else. What is going on with me is NOT just me being lazy or a little sick. I am flat out exhausted, every day, all day. Sorry I put on a good face at work and didn’t complain all the time. And, I would call not working for over a month (and going without income) serious.

And, I am certainly not stupid enough to think that god is going to support me!!!
I’ve always been aware of your religious beliefs. And even though I think you are absolutely wrong, I have never called your beliefs stupid. But I believe that God will sustain me, and don’t apologize for it.

Do you need more money so that you can continue to dine at California Kitchen? Get a grip! With all of the worthy causes out there you think people should give their charity to you? Why what have you done to deserve something like that???
Well, if you think that California Pizza Kitchen is a bit extravagant for someone not working, I can understand that. However, I did this after a funeral to spend time with friends. I also picked one of the cheaper things on the menu, if you must know. And yes, there are a LOT of worthy causes out there. And almost every one of them are much more worthy than me. However, if you read the text above the button, it only says if you’re moved to donate to me, here’s the way to do it. If you don’t feel led to donate, don’t.

At my job I see SO many people like you who play the system to get out of a little work!
Ohhh. I see. So, I’m just one of those people trying to ‘play the system to get out of a little work’. You really don’t know me then. Because I would much rather work, exercise, and eat celery every day than try to explain to family and so-called friends why I am so exhausted I can’t do a desk job for 40 hours a week. The last 4 months I was working, I was able to work 40 hours a week twice. TWICE. I didn’t do it to hang out with friends, or go on vacation. I went home, and went to bed. So, I tried to work for as long as I could, and now am taking time off so I can improve myself so I can go back to work. Yes, there are people trying to ‘play the system’. I’m not one of them.

I find your donation button very offensive! Shame on you! You should be asking for donations to help Trevors parents with their expenses or other needy families!
You need to read a little closer, then. I have asked for donations for Trevor’s parents. I have also highlighted other causes in my blog as well. The button to go to Trevor’s website is above mine. Folks, if you’re torn between donating to me or Trevor’s parents, don’t be. Go to his website and give. And, if you find a donation button offensive, don’t visit this site anymore. Sorry, no shame here for asking for help.

I am not a religious person but, doesn’t your god teach that he helps those who help themselves?
The saying “God helps those who helps themselves” is not in the Bible. However, I agree that it’s probably great advice. I also like the saying “pray like it depends on God, and work like it depends on you.” I believe I am doing all I can do. I also have a great group of friends that know a lot more about what’s going on with me than you do. And out of that group, I have at least two or three that are bold and honest enough to tell me to get my butt in gear if they thought I was just being lazy. They have been nothing but supportive.

To that end, here’s what I’m doing right now to help myself:

  • Working out three times a week. Pretty self-explanatory. Get in better shape so I might be able to return to work.
  • Modifying my diet. I have eliminated diet soda completely, and only drink regular soda if there are no other alternatives. I don’t eat junk while I’m out, and have added more fresh food, and less processed stuff.
  • Continuing to see doctors. I have three doctors that I see on a regular basis, and they are all working to decrease my fatigue.
  • Emptying my savings. Since work has denied my disability claim, I have no income, and I have cashed out everything I could in order to continue to pay bills.
  • Installing the button to the right. I really haven’t even asked for donations. I haven’t made any emotional pleas for help, or said stuff like “I’ll be homeless!” But, if someone WANTS to give a gift to me, they now have a way. If you don’t want to give…no biggie. But since I have a blog, and a few people read it…I put it there.

I don’t know what else to do. If you have any other constructive suggestions, you know how to reach me…and it won’t be via anonymous comment. I have now disabled that feature.

This comment, left anonymously, really saddened me. But what really saddened me is that this person, trying to remain anonymous, knows me personally, has my phone number and email address, and hasn’t had the guts to contact me personally. And when I go back to work (and I believe I will), I will have to face this person. I still don’t know how to handle that.

I hope I’m wrong about the identity of the ‘anonymous’ poster. But, if I’m not, the saddest thing about this comment is that I thought this person had enough guts to confront me personally if she really felt this way.

Category: Site News

December 19

Happy Tuesday…and welcome to another episode of my blubberings.

Yesterday I went to Trevor’s funeral. Yes, of course it was sad, but it was also a celebration of his life. In fact, I was really impressed by his parents because of the videos they had of his life. There was one video of Trevor playing in the mud…mud created in a plot of ground right next to the house. All the time that the camera was recording, Carrie (his mom) was talking to him, laughing about him spreading the mud all over his body, and even when he started jumping up and down, splashing in the mud. The other clip that impressed me was when Trevor got into a jar of peanut butter, so she sent him to clean up. While he was cleaning up, she went to watch TV, and found the screen pretty blurry. After turning the screen off and looking at the TV, she had found that he had spread peanut butter all over the screen. She then videoed Trevor, covered in peanut butter, and also the TV screen with its new coating of peanut butter.

I honestly don’t know if all of this was taken before or after Trevor became ill. However, one of my beliefs as a person is that life is too short…and it was obvious by the videos made by the family that they were going to enjoy every moment with Trevor that they could. And for that, I have a great admiration for Brian and Carrie as parents…and for what it’s worth, I don’t think it started when he became ill. I hope that they make the decision in the future to have more kids…because I believe the world would be a much better place with children raised by them.

Well, enough of my opinions….after all, I’m just a guy with no kids who can never really grasp what they’re going through. But please continue to pray for all of Trevor’s family as they continue to grieve over the loss of this wonderful little boy.

I also went to lunch after with Pat, Brenda, Susan, Holland, and Alison. Was a great lunch at California Pizza Kitchen…and in spite of being the only male in attendance, I didn’t feel too left out of the conversation.

As for me, the past few days I’ve felt like I have a cold or the flu. However, me being me, I get lots of weird symptoms. I have a large bump right in the center of my tongue, a sore throat, runny nose, always cold, and not enough energy to do anything. I need to get all my medical records, though, so I can file my appeal. I have two months to do it, but I want it done by the end of the week, because right now I have no income. I cashed out some stock, but I really don’t know how God is going to provide for me…or worse yet, if I’m supposed to be doing something else to provide for myself. I guess I can do like other people, and set up a PayPal donation button…which I will probably do today…if I have the energy.

I also have a psychiatrist appointment today. Should be interesting. He’s the one that gave me the provigil…and it’s not doing anything. We’ll see what his next line of action is.

For those that wonder what I’m doing for Christmas Eve and Day: Christmas Eve will be spent at the church, because I’ll be doing lighting for the evening services. Christmas day will probably be spent at home, recuperating from Christmas Eve. No, I’m not going to throw a pity party…woe is me…I don’t have family here…nope. NOT me. Since I’ve become an adult, I’ve really enjoyed Christmas as a day where I can lounge around all day long, watch TV, nap…and have no guilt about it.

Well, that’s about all I have to say today…and I’m getting tired. Time to lay down again, and make some tea because I feel icky again. I appreciate your continued prayers for wisdom and strength….and for God to provide for me through all of this.

Category: Site News

Thursday Thirteen #13

Thirteen words to describe what Bubba looks for in a wife.

The singles in our church were challenged recently to make a list of desirable qualities in a mate. However, I never did it…so I decided to use it as this week’s Thursday Thirteen. This list is subject to change as I put more thought into it…and it is not all-inclusive. If you read this list and want to date me…well, I would suggest a psychiatric evaluation. And thanks to Leanne for the header graphic!

  1. Christian. She must be a Christian…no compromise on this one. And by this I mean that her life has to reflect it by her actions.
  2. Sports. She needs to like watching sports. Not necessarily as much as I do, but if I want to go to a game every once in a while, I’d like her to go with me.
  3. Computers. Yes, I know that I spend a lot of time on computers…and if I had someone else in my life, it would be much less. However, someone that looks at a computer and goes “ewww!” probably wouldn’t fit into my life. That’s not to say that she has to be a computer geek, though.
  4. Flexible. The only thing constant in life is change, and it’s definitely true with my life. Someone that doesn’t deal with change well probably will be frustrated being around me.
  5. Non-legalistic. Huh? What am I talking about? Well, Christians in particular can have a tendency to make “rules” about life…and then get righteously indignant when someone violates them. Well, I am thankful for God’s grace, and won’t allow someone in my life that acts like grace is for her, and not everyone else.
  6. Secure. I believe that my affirming skills as a person are pretty good. However, she needs to have a strong belief that she is a smart, attractive woman without having someone verbally affirm that every 15 minutes.
  7. Laugh. I love to laugh, and I love to make others laugh. If you have watched Cheers and thought that Dr. Lilith Stern’s character is a true representation of your sense of humor, I’m probably not going to be your boyfriend.
  8. Movies. I love to watch movies, especially comedy. I even like romantic movies. Until recently, I never even knew there were people out there that didn’t like movies.
  9. Food. The list of things I will not eat is a short list. A picky eater will probably not be happy around me on a long-term basis.
  10. Time. My primary love language is quality time. No, I don’t think I’m clingy…but if I’m in a relationship with someone, face to face time has to happen more than once a week.
  11. Touch. My secondary love language is physical touch. This doesn’t mean sex, or even sexual touch. I hug everyone, I’m not afraid to put an arm around someone’s shoulder, and even backrubs are not off-limits…I do not equate them with sex. I am very touchy-feely. If holding hands in public is too much affection to show, we’re not going to be a happy couple.
  12. Beautiful. I believe that every woman has a beauty within her, and she becomes more beautiful by one of two methods: a) plastic surgery and expensive cosmetics, or b) her heart and love for others. I’m more attracted to b than I am to a. And, being a heavy guy, I’m not looking for Barbie here. However, my spare tire is not going to allow me to date women that aren’t attractive.
  13. Intelligent. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who can think, express her opinions in a non-confrontational manner, and be conversant on more than just a few subjects. Physical attraction can be fleeting; but someone who is able to truly share life is priceless.

I am thankful to those TTers that normally leave comments. However, if you read this, I do hope you leave a comment, no matter how critical…even if you don’t have a blog to link back to. Thanks for your feedback!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Category: Site News

December 13

Right now, I just feel numb. If you read my previous item, you know that the first thing that happened this morning is finding out about Trevor…and that he lost his battle with cancer.

I actually found out about that on my way to the doctor’s office. The only good news that came from this is that my blood pressure is lower. The rest of it, I’m still a little bit in shock. In speaking with the doctor, I told him that I was denied disability and leave from work. He showed what he had sent in with my papers, which consisted of his objective findings (not many of them when you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and a two page letter from my rheumatologist. I then asked him what the next step was, and he said that he didn’t know. He stated that he thought I should apply for permanent disability through the state (Arizona), because it appeared that I was fighting a losing battle with my employer.

But he also stated that he really didn’t know much about disability, and said that I should probably get an independent medical exam so I can show it to the disability folks. I also mentioned that I called yesterday wanting a copy of my medical records from him, and told him that I wasn’t happy about the $30 charge that they were asking from me. He then recited the standard line of “that’s policy, that’s what the office manager has determined.” Having come from a customer service background, any explanation that starts out with the word “policy” is really a crappy explanation. He also tried to make me feel better about it, though, by saying that he had to pay $100 for HIS medical records the other day. Well, bully for you. We then ended up by him telling me to contact the state boards, because what they were doing was ethical and legal. Once again, who gives a rip.

So, right now, I’m still in shock. First of all, I know enough about disability to know that, if it’s the path I’m going to choose, I’m going to be without income for six months. I don’t know where money is going to come from, since I really don’t have a whole lot saved up anywhere. I’ve used up pretty much all of my retirement savings to get to this point. So, I don’t know what to do other than pray. And I thank you for your prayers…the ones that you’ve said already, and the ones that I know will continue to go up for me in my behalf. I guess I have a lot of research and praying to do.

Right now, I feel exhausted (imagine that!) so I’m probably going to lay down again. Hopefully, my next update will have a bit more sunshine… 🙂 God bless.

Category: Site News

A sad day

I am also going to post a personal update, but I thought I would update you on Trevor Swift.

Unfortunately, Trevor has lost his battle with cancer. What I’ve heard so far is that when they went into surgery to put a feeding tube into his stomach…and found that the cancer had spread beyond what they could cure.

Please continue to pray for his family. I will leave the link on my sidebar through at least next week in case you are local and are interested in details on final arrangements. Thank you for praying for him and his family.

Category: Site News

Trevor update

Trevor Swift is back in the hospital, and his cancer is back worse than ever. Please continue to pray for him and his family. More details can be found on the link in my sidebar.

Category: Site News