Monthly Archives: April 2007

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Isabelle, Grandma and Grandpa

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A man’s daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father.

When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed.

The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit.

“I guess you were expecting me, he said.

‘No, who are you?” said the father.

The minister told him his name
And then remarked,
“I saw the empty chair And I figured You knew I was going to show up,”

“Oh yeah, the chair,” Said the bedridden man.
“Would you mind closing the door?”

Puzzled, The minister shut the door.

“I have never told anyone this, Not even my daughter,” Said the man. “But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, But it went right over my head.” I abandoned any attempt at prayer,”

The old man continued, “until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, “Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter Of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest.”
“Sit down in a chair; Place an empty chair in front of you, And in faith see Jesus on the chair. It’s not spooky because he promised, ‘I will be with you always’. “Then just speak to him in the same way You’re doing with me right now.”

“So, I tried it and I’ve liked it so much that I do it A couple of hours every day. I’m careful though If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, She’d either have a nervous breakdown Or send me off to the funny farm.”

The minister was deeply moved by the story And encouraged the old man to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, Anointed him with oil, And returned to the church.

Two nights later the daughter called To tell the minister that her daddy had died that Afternoon.

“Did he die in peace?” he asked.

“Yes, when I left the house about two o’clock, He called me over to his bedside, Told me he loved me And kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead.
“But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, He leaned over and rested his head On the chair beside the bed.

“What do you make of that?”

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, “I wish we could all go like that.”

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Even God has a sense of humor…

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There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

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My name wasn’t Irish enough.

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What do YOU call Jesus?

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Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.

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