Here in the wild, wild west, Arizonans and Californians passed “marriage” propositions seeking to amend constitutions by adding language making homosexual marriage illegal. Well, maybe that’s not 100% accurate, since it was already illegal in Arizona…
In my morning reading from my Friend Feed, I found a blog post saying that we should protect marriage, but we’re going about it wrong. I’m not sure if the author is serious, because I don’t know him. But he states that in order to protect marriage, we should make divorce illegal.
I really am torn on this one. I have two perspectives on this proposal. First of all, I have been through two divorces. The first one just got too tough to stick it out…but the second one I left because she was cheating. The author of the blog post states that we should “restore the sanctity of marriage, the way the bible(sic) intended”. One circumstance for divorce that Jesus validated is adultery…the difficulty would be how to prove that in a court of law. I had signs that something wasn’t right, but for me the final proof came when I was home sick from work, laying on the couch, when in walks my wife with another guy into my house.
But would that have been enough evidence? What about the pictures and videos of this guy that I found on my computer after she moved out? What would be needed to prove that she was running around? These questions would need to be answered prior to passing any legislation banning divorce, or at the least making it harder. I believe that if Jesus gives Christians the opportunity to divorce because of adultery, our laws should not restrict that freedom.
Secondly, we already have a modern-day example of the effectiveness of a ban on divorce. Until 1997, divorce was constitutionally forbidden by Ireland, a country with an overwhelming percentage of practicing Catholics. When divorce was finally made legal by referendum, a government pamphlet estimated there were 75,000 people in irretrievably-broken marriages (3rd question under Q&A).
Popular opinion finally allowed proper legislation to pass, allowing divorce in Ireland. Not to say that divorce is easily obtained…requirements state that a couple has to live apart for at least four out of five years before filing. Even with these harsh requirements, so many people are filing for divorce that the courts are still overwhelmed with cases 10 years after legalization.
I could not imagine what that would have been like, if I had to wait that long before filing for divorce. Part of the fun of being married to my ex-wife was that she did a lot of things to make it financially difficult. I won’t go into details, but I will say that being married to her drained me of tens of thousands of dollars that I used to have in a retirement fund. Being financially responsible for her for 4 years more than I was would have driven me to the looney bin.
I normally try to compose a solution, instead of just complaining. But banning divorce sounds like a bad idea to me. What are your thoughts?
I don’t think divorce should be illegal, but it should be harder to obtain. There are too many people who get married and then divorce within months (Pamela Anderson comes to mind). Not Ireland’s version of harder, mind you, but I think sometimes marriage is too tantalizingly beneficial. I know people who got married for the extra military pay. That stuff is what it should stop.
By the way…good to know ya.
I agree that divorce should not be so easy – nor should be getting married. I know that it would be impossible to enforce, but I think that couples should have to go through mandatory counseling/classes before either a marriage or a divorce. However, making it illegal to divorce is not an answer. There are times that there truly is no other option. My first marriage is an example of that.